Monday's are usually great days in my life because I only have one class at 10 am, therefore I don't have to get up super early, but I have the whole day ahead of me after class. So, when I got out of world lit, I ended up going on about an hour and half walk listening to a David Platt podcast on disciple making. I don't know what it is about his preaching, but it always seems to just make perfect sense. I also generally feel convicted by them in a good way because he is really great at reminding us what Christ has called each of us to do: to make disciples of all nations. For my time left in Auburn that nation is Auburn Jr. High School. I've been called to simply share life with jr high girls and pour Christ into them.
This year's "focus" in Auburn Young Life is going deep with five or so kids. For me that has been a hard thing to accept because when I look at that in my own life I just see failure. I attend a campaigners group, but only one of the girls that comes is a girl that I've really connected with, while the others are a lot closer with another leader. Even though we do go through scripture together and talk about God's work in our lives, I don't feel as though I'm sharing my life and going deeper with them. More often than not I feel like I'm just there.
Then there's the one girl that I am pouring my life into that doesn't come to campaigners. We hang out at least every week if not multiple times per week. Mostly we go to dinner together or hang out at her house and ride her horses. I know that I always hear that numbers don't matter and that if we reach out to one kid then we are successful, but it's hard when you see other leaders that have big campaigners groups where they're pouring into several kids. Also the one girl that I'm sharing life with doesn't really respond to serious stuff. During club talks she does just about anything she can think of to not pay attention. She has heard the story all her life and just doesn't seem to care. It's hard not to get caught up in the world's view's of success, and I have to constantly remind myself that God has me here for a reason in her life and that some way some how, He's going to shine through me. I'm thinking of starting a morning campaigners with her and a couple other girls. The three of us got breakfast one day last week before school, but we just spent the time handing out. Now I'm incredibly nervous to ask them if they want to spend time in the Word during those breakfasts. I'm afraid to bring it up because I'm afraid of rejection, which is saying something because I'm in a ministry that is used to rejection. But then I have to think..what's the worst that could happen? They decide that they can't do breakfasts anymore? That would be unfortunate and wouldn't be what I intended, but I'd survive. But what if that's exactly what they're looking for and need and are open to the idea? Then a million different things can happen and Christ will show up in those times. So what am I waiting for? Why do I struggle with making that next step? Christ calls me to proclaim the Gospel fearlessly, so I will take that leap of faith and present the idea to the girls. Prayers that God will open up their hearts to the idea of spending time in scripture.
"Pray for me also, that whenever I speak, words may be given to me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the Gospel, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly as I should." - Ephesians 6:19-20
On a different note, I went mountain biking on monday. This is relevant because my job on summer staff this summer is mountain biking.. and I've only even been twice in my life as of monday. I fell three times and have some great bruises on my knee. I definitely should practice more before teenagers entrust their lives in me on the trails this summer..
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